I received some sad news this week and fighting to stay strong has been as hard, if not harder, than any race I've ever run. When grieving, mourning, stumbling, healing, moving on...I find myself always coming back to a certain poem. My biggest sister, Christy, gave it to me when she was in college and I was just a naive freshman in high school, struggling with those parting words, good-bye. From family and friends gone, to broken hearts and shattered dreams, I have come to find strength, courage and solace in these sad good-byes.
Comes the Dawn
After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a Soul.
And you learn that Love doesn't mean Leaning
And company doesn't mean Security.
And you begin to learn that Kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a person, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on Today
Because Tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And Futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even the Sunshine burns,
If you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn....
With every good-bye, you learn.
I'm learning still. I just wish it didn't hurt so darn much.
FXO SA!
AT
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2 comments:
AT,
So maybe a run up Half Dome under a full moon will lighten your heart & mind a little.
Here's a thought from a fellow ultra runner that spoke out to me in light of my recent comment in reponse to your "Standing in the Fire" post.
What I learned was this: Life is about Love...LOVE, and then LOVE...Then give, give, give until it hurts and when it hurts keep on giving. Life is about sharing, caring, and life is about simplicity.
All the stuff we have, all the things we have...what does any of this mean without love, simplicity and the simple gratitude of having the gift of life, to get up each morning, to be thankful for all and for everything. We can all have this each and everyday if we just stop, look and listen. Live in the present and in the moment. Clear your mind of negative thoughts and surround yourself with loving people."
These words may help deal with the hurt you're feeling now.
I am sorry that you are hurting. I like the poem. Without knowing anything about your loss I think your motto should come in handy right about now: Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Don't give up ... ever.
And do the half-dome run. I'll meet you at the top! (just kidding) Actually I will be there in less than two weeks.
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